something i wrote about a day i had this week that was just one of those days...uneventful, but still leading me to feel really down, like i just didn't want to be bothered and just needed to feel safe. i sought a little solitude in an empty church parking lot this past monday evening and found a little serenity and clarity as i contemplated for an hour or so.

the sun can set all night if it wants to

i still don't want to go home and i won't

it's not peaceful there and i can't move

because i am literally paralyzed by

my thoughts that something is missing

can i stay a little while longer with you?

can i be safe here for another moment?

once i leave i have to face reality again

outside of here, i'm just a girl with complaints

watching life roll take me over without a fight

in here i don't have to do a thing

noone will judge me for falling apart

my mother (happy mother's day)

My mother says "i love you"
to me sixty times a day
My mother buys me ice cream
when i get into trouble
and it makes me feel afraid
My mother loved my type
of music when i was fifteen
My mother worked three jobs
to support her children by herself
My mother will forfeit sleep any night
so she won't miss out on family time
My mother is very unlike the others

exodus titles, drafts

21

I saw a burning star and
I sang so loud between tears that
I ruptured my throat and choked on the blood
Because I knew I'd never be the same

I saw heaven and I danced all night
Because I knew there was more
To living than anyones told me

I am in awe I have to wonder
What I think I really know
You're so staggering,
so overwhelming that
I might not ever recover

I'll never compare to you
But I've never wanted to
Fight for anything
As much as I have for you
I don't want to live without you

___________________________________________________

The hydra

Why he would step
So boldly here is beyond me
But he did and he does
So convincingly

He'll say what he will
With eloquence and evidence
He'll call you alone
 into the darkness
Unprepared and unequipped

But if you are more
Than a conquerer,
If you run the race,
And fight the war to win
Then you have nothing to fear
For this isn't what it seems

Be strong, knowing that
The truth will reveal itself in time
It is said that there
is always a way
And if you have been shown
You have nothing to hide

You have honor for stepping up
You will not be by yourself
You have favor on your side
Now impale the head
and the rest will fall

________________________________

I had a hero

This will hurt a lot less when
you start to understand
That nobody is above the law
And no two people are sworn
To be together from the start

But who doesn't want something
Real that they can believe in?
And someone to rely on
To aspire to become more like?
The world has become empty to me
But you made it just a little brighter

I had a hero that was
So pure and innocent
I had a love that was
So sweet
Life was perfect when
He was here but
I'm the only one that can
Say he ever was

Who doesn't need someone
That they can be proud to know?
Someone to raise you up
When nobody else will?
I had a hero for a minute
And then the world decided
I just don't deserve this

It's time to stop getting into trouble
And have all the answers for myself
When I had a hero, I believed in heaven
Even when it all hurt like hell

So who doesn't hurt when
Their heart can't be found?
Who can't stand the thought of
someone so special letting you down?
I have a vision of becoming
Somebody that is worth saving

exodus draft

Dropping some knowledge

For every time I
leave the house alone
at night and
 return safely home
I know there is a girl that
 can not say the same

She is any shape or size
Any age, any race
Sometimes she fights back
But she doesn't always win
Does it make me paranoid
when I won't open the door?

x. O Diss wisp Purr

A broken window

Your eyes are not windows
When they're broken
They're just gaping holes
Your spirit may be exposed
But there's no light shining in
The look of your eyes is a warning

Everyone that sees you
Might know exactly
What it means
Youve made a new friend
that only you can see
A close friend deeply understanding
An unwelcomed guest at home
You know as well as they do
That you shouldn't be left alone

Everyone that sees you
Might know exactly
What this means
You are fading quickly
And nobody else is speaking up
It only takes a day away to
break free or lose your chance for good

Everyone that sees You
Might know exactly
What this means
And that when they ask you
You are lying
Not in control of your body
like youve wanted to be

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------

 path lit with candles
Flowers everywhere
Music playing softly
Anything you want

Is it too much to ask
to feel like this will last
When I know that nothing does

Romance is waking up
Smiling, overwhelmed with pride
You have the honor of being
part of his life

Romance is letting him
love you for exactly who you are
The only thing he wants
is your love in return

Romance is prioritizing time
And you can't wait
 to see your love again

Romance is a woman's life force
It makes her pretty and hopeful